"Beer Drinking Geek", Statement Validation

What do I mean, calling myself a Beer Drinking Geek? Am I an Alcoholic Circus Performer with a penchant for biting the heads off of barnyard fowl? Um, no… I’m more of a nerdy guy who enjoys drinking Beer (not just the cheap industrial swill that is a rite of passage for many of our youthful American compatriots).

I assume you and I are living in the 21^st Century, and that we may even have been born in the 20^th Century (I certainly was). My childhood was in the 1970s and I served my adolescent teen years in the 80s.

I grew up with the first appearance of home video game consoles (Combat was, like Wii Sports, what you played a lot of until you finally got a cooler game), Star Wars in the theatre for the first time, and Dungeons & Dragons/ “The War-on-Dungeons & Dragons”. These things probably had more of an impact on me than anything else in my lifetime, except for sex. (AND I still have not become an axe-wielding sociopathic murderer with The Devil’s Mark etched into my forehead with a pocket-knife, by the way…  fucking idiots.)

My earliest Beer commercial recollections are full of “Raiiiiiiiii-Neeeeeeer-Beeeeeeer” and Giant Bottles of Beer with Legs and snooping around in the dead of night trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive “Artesians”(ah, Rainier Beer, you had the Best Fucking Commercials!). My first sip of Beer was after an argument with my mother about her not sharing her Apple Juice with me (yeah, I was like 4 or 5, maybe, I think) and she acquiesced with “I told you it wasn’t apple juice…” ; I was nonplussed.

A handful of favorites, in varying condition

I wasn’t particularly athletic and I didn’t get into following fashion trends (My shoes: still not fashionable), nor did I know to what music I should be listening to be cool. I had too many imaginative worlds to explore; whether it was via Commodore 64 (I visited the Temple of Apshai and delved the depths of Telengard through the power of my Data Cassette Deck), Staging battles between the Masters of the Universe and the Cybernetic Mantechs and making a slideshow out of it, or gathering with others of the not-as-socially-outgoing type for exciting fictional adventures as super-heroes and secret agents (Games Workshop’s Golden Heroes and TSR’s Top Secret were group favorites)! (I may have read a few books, too.)

There it is!

It didn’t stop, you know, when I got older… I continued getting together with friends for regular D&D nights for years and continued to favor anime and Sci-fi/Fantasy/Horror B-movies (with lots of cheap Beer to extend the laughter and enjoyment).

(see forthcoming bio for more on how I got on the Craft Beer track.)

So where does that leave me now? Have I stayed true to my roots?

I no longer get together with anyone for D&D (oops, sorry, Pathfinder now…) sessions; in fact I can’t remember the last time I got to enjoy some good old-school RPG action. For a while I enjoyed the online MMORPG opportunities of WOW, Guild Wars, LOTRO, etc. I still watch plenty of select anime series and B-movies, and occasionally bust out various fantasy (etc.)-themed board and card games. I don’t really attend conventions or follow forums because I do have other domestic responsibilities to attend to; and most of those folk (sorry for saying, but it is true…) are either stuck in their own bubbles or are just internet Trolls, and not worth my time hanging around with.

How can I not reference Python in this post?

I thought about listing all of the geeky, nerdy, dorky things that establish some kind of “Geek-Cred” for myself… but that’s a lot of unnecessary listing of too many obvious references…  but there you have it.

This is what I mean by “Beer Drinking Geek”. I’m kind of a dork and always have been.

I also happen to like some tasty Beer.

So… what are your favorite Geeky Pleasures?

Cheers!

DIY Mash/Lauter Tun Update

The Old News: I built a Mash Tun/Lauter Tun out of a drink cooler and a stainless steel faucet supply line.

The News: Upgraded my design by replacing the cheap spigot that comes with the cooler (and swapping the brass tee fitting on the lautering filter).

The parts are all brass, except for those washers acting as spacers and the O-rings.

The valve is a 3/8" FPT Ball Valve, oriented so that the handle opens when pulled down.

The outer end is a 3/8" Street Elbow with a 3/8" MIP (pipe thread) to 3/8"I.D. Barb fitting. This makes it easy to attach 3/8" tubing directly to the spigot.

Peek-a-boo pic of the Teflon Tape on the Tee.

the valve is attached to the cooler with a 3/8" Hex Nipple which passes through the cooler where the original plastic valve was. It is held in place on the inside by a 1/2" x 3/8" NPT Reducing Bushing.


The 5/8" Cut Washers and the #12 O-ring help to secure the spigot in place and prevent excess wiggle.

I also had to replace the 1/2 x 1/2 x 3/8 PEX Tee on the filter with a 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2 PEX Tee due to the increased size of the valve. Enough Teflon Tape and a #9 O-ring help make a snug, leak resistant fit.

This upgrade was about $25. Brass parts ain't cheap, eh? But the easy to use valve and extra functionality of the direct tubing connection are worth it after having put the thing into use and fumbling with that bubble-button on the original.

Here are some additional pics from the trial run of this thing as I made my first All-Grain Homebrew with torrified wheat and pilsner malt.

Hot Cereal Time!

I. P. Freely Lives!

I made plenty of procedural mistakes, but everything turned out alright. I certainly learned some things about how to better utilize this new resource. I'm looking forward to many better-made brews in the future.

Cheers!

Simple DIY Wort Chiller, (Under $30)

The Parts and The Tools.

Part 2 of my DIY Brewing Equipment Project: The Cheapie Wort Chiller.

     I'll admit to growing weary of working the sink bath of ice and cold water every time I cool down my wort... It is not the most convenient method, even if it only costs the price of a Big Bag of Ice and the water necessary to fill a sink basin. So I decided to make a Wort Chiller, like many other homebrewers looking to save some money.

     This project cost less than $30, which was a great price compared to what is available for purchase elsewhere. If you have read my DIY Mash/Lauter Tun post, you are already aware of the experience I have with helping other homebrewers put this type of apparatus together (I sell plumbing supplies for a living). This is the result of much pondering over the most efficient method of making my own immersion-style chiller... which can easily be converted into a pass-through chiller as well, but I'll play with that idea later when I have converted the spigot on my lauter tun. Like the mash/lauter tun all these supplies came from one major retail chain.

     This parts list is also relatively short and simple:

          (1) 3/8 Soft refrigeration Copper Coil, 10'          $13.48
          (1) 1/2" O.D., 3/8" I.D. vinyl tubing, 10'             $4.38
               (the roll pictured is 20', but only 10' is needed for this project.)
          (1) Brass 3/4" FHT x 3/8" Barb adapter             $7.65
          (3) 5/8" Stainless Steel Hose Clamps                 $2.55 ($0.85ea)
                                                                                   $28.06 Total

      If you don't have access to a tube bender, you can use any solid cylindrical object to aid you in bending the copper. Reminder: Please use Caution to avoid kinking the tubing, because copper is rather soft and recklessness can ruin your material. I made some of my bends around the base of this jar of beans, just to illustrate this point.

Copper Sculpture can be Pretty!

     The trickiest bends will be the inlet and outlet positions. Just use a smaller cylinder if necessary to make these tight bends. It is OK to bend past the angle you need and then back it up a bit.
    
     The next part is easy... just cut how much length you need to discharge where you will be brewing or just use half your vinyl tubing. Secure it to the discharge end of your coiled sculpture with a stainless steel hose clamp. tighten it down just enough to be very snug... but do not over-tighten, remember how soft that copper is.

     Do the same for your inlet end; this is the tube that will connect to your faucet after you add the last part. that hose adapter barb will fit right into the other end of this tubing and a hose clamp will keep it secure. If you do not have a hose thread connection to hook up to (like on a standard kitchen faucet) you can easily pick up an adapter at any hardware store. I already had one for use with my bottle washer.

     And that is it! You can use a 20' coil if you would like to increase the amount of area that will be available to contact the wort for expediency, just double the price expectation of the copper.

     I still intend to immerse my brewpot into a bath of ice water... however I expect the Wort Chiller to significantly reduce the time it takes to cool my wort down, and the amount of refilling and draining necessary to provide constant cold temperature to an ice bath alone. That is, to me, worth the cost of making the device and it is a lot of fun to make your own equipment. I like the idea of not only brewing my own Beer, but hand-crafting the implements to do so! I intend to improve and update these builds in the future and I will link to the new posts from these older ones.

The Final Contraption.

     If you have read this and found it useful, I am glad to have been some help. If you are only reading this because you actually like me or were too bored to do anything else, well, "Thank's for noticin' me." (You know who Eeyore is, don't front like you don't get it!)
    
     Cheers!
    
    

DIY Mash Tun / Lauter Tun (Under $35.00)

Being a novice homebrewer on a modest budget, I wanted to build a basic vessel for mashing grains that wouldn't require a large monetary investment. The Complete Joy of Homebrewing (Charlie Papazian) gives some good basic ideas for making mash and lauter tuns and there are plenty of online forums for DIY builds. I studied quite a few in my quest to build my own. In my secret life as a plumbing parts purveyor I have assisted many other homebrewers in their own quests to craft homemade brewing equipment and have gained some valuable insights from the process.

This is my finished Mash Tun and Lautering Filter with photos, part list, and costs in case you are interested in following my lead. It is a 5 gallon cooler conversion, so it can't be heated directly on a burner, but it will serve my purposes well. I didn't even have to remove the original spigot for this build although I plan to do so soon anyway to make it more durable and adaptable to future equipment builds. I got all the parts at the orange major home improvement chain. (edit, 5/21/12: See this update on the upgraded spigot.)

The first and most obvious part is the 5 gallon beverage cooler. Standard. Just like the one we used to fill with cheap Beer and drag to the park with a sleeve of plastic cups. Regularly $21.87 or so, I got mine on sale for $19.98. Ta-da, it's already usable as a mash tun!

The second part is getting something in there to screen out the grains so you can use it as a lauter tun. This is provided by a 30" stainless steel faucet supply line. I cut off the ends with a pair of tin snips. I also cut an additional 1 1/2" off for another purpose but the fit works out perfectly inside the cooler.

I extracted the plastic tubing from inside the stainless steel braid with a pair of needle-nose pliers. This step involved a bit of wrestling and finesse so that I didn't damage the braid in the process.

Part 2: 30" Stainless Steel Faucet Supply Line, $7.98.

I fitted the snipped ends over a 1/2 x 1/2 x 3/8 brass tee designed for use with PEX pipes. I clamped them down with all stainless steel hose clamps.

Part 3: 1/2 x 1/2 x 3/8 Brass PEX Tee, $2.61.
Parts 4, 5: (2) 5/8" Stainless Steel Hose Clamps, $0.85 ea.

The final step was to wrap the 3/8 barb with teflon tape until it fit snugly into the interior of the spigot.

Part 6: Teflon Tape, $1.05.

19.98 (5 gal. Cooler)
7.98   (30" SS Supply Line)
2.61   (1/2 x 1/2 x 3/8 brass PEX Tee)
1.70   ( 2 Hose Clamps)
1.05   (Teflon Tape)

$33.32 (Total Cost!)

The water flow test went perfectly... I filled it with water and drained it out without any problem from the stainless steel braid. Now I will have to put it to the test with a real mash. I expect it to perform well, but I won't be able to say so until my next Brew Day... hopefully within the week! I'll let you know how it went!

Next: the cheapie Wort Chiller!

Cheers!


(edit 5/21/12: I upgraded the spigot on this design. See how in this update post.)

A Most Distinguished Lover of Ales; also... Chainsaw Beer?

So, it’s been awhile since my post about Morrissey and his favorite Beer… and I have yet to confirm directly from the singer what his favorite Beer is… anyway, I thought about who else in my geekworldparadigm I could do some research on and find out what their favorite Beer (or style) was.

 

Tolkien's famous "Bird and Baby" haunt.

           

I made myself a list of who I wanted to discover this fact about, and the best info I got (without spending hours hunting tiny details from a plethora of sources) was in relation to JRR Tolkien. While I found no definitive answer it was still fair to infer, from what I read about his “Beer and Beowulf Sessions” and from his own writings, that Tolkien’s preferred beverages were likely to be Porters or, more broadly, English Ales. (here's a blog post devoted to Tolkien's love of Beer.)

Photo/Article: http://www.geekosystem.com

I discovered during this research that Studio Ghibli has its own Beer: Kaze no Tani, available at the Ghibli Museum. I love the labeling. This Amber Ale pays Homage first and foremost to “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind”, with visual references also to other Hayao Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli films. You know, right, that I love these movies?

Apparently, according to answers he gave during a press interview session, Bruce Campbell “…gave up beer... I was only using it to wash my tequila down.” Maybe I’ll brew a Bruce Campbell inspired Beer with Tequila thrown somewhere into the process… and Chainsaw Bar and ChainLubricant.

Is it easy to discover these Beer preferences? Not unless you have the opportunity to ask these people personally or hang with them enough to notice their drinking tendencies, at which point the triviality of posting it to a blog becomes kind of pointless, eh? “Hey, Sam, I just blogged about what Beer you like best.” Sam: “Uh, why?” “Um, dunno, I guess…” If I spent hours poring over a long list of published articles and reports about the people who inspire and entertain me, I could probably discover a lot more… but that means hours on end of repetitive biographical information, filmographies/discographies, and irrelevant social media references that I don’t need to see. Really.

Most media reports about well-known folk merely mention a type of alcoholic beverage being consumed (beer, wine, whiskey, etc.) but rarely the type or brand. Particularly Beer, however, as it is still seen by the general public as a beverage for average Joe with no complexity, sophistication, or culinary value… ah, (sigh), to each their own, eh? People who drink what is now widely referred to as Craft Beer are often seen as “Elitists” and “Snobs” and tend to be dismissed as inconsequential fad followers. I guess I belong to this group.

So, for now I think I have sated my interest in “What Beers my Favorite Famous Folk Drink”, and if I discover something cool… I’ll mention it. Don’t expect me to go too far out of my way to look it up.

Cheers!

 

From Brewpublic: Slayer's Kerry King with a Ninkasi Sleigh'r Alt

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

Would it be wise to open the bottle?

... or so alleges Captured by Porches on the label of this the most recent of their Beers that I discovered while searching the shadowy corners of the Hollywood Whole Foods Beer Aisle.

     I like trying out all the Rye Beers that Captured by Porches makes (My favorite so far being the Schwarz Roggen.) Their Undead Porter was great and had one of my favorite labels of the year. Now this unexpected offering I found lurking nonchalantly next to their Invasive Species IPA and Undead Porter... and, well, It's called Miskatonic Dark Rye and "dedicated to Howard."

     I want to open it now! Alas, it would be unwise of me to drink it all and save none for me other half, who I think will also be delighted by this find! Dude.

     Meanwhile, It may yet be some time before Guillermo Del Toro brings his Lovecraft vision to the big screen, but the HP Lovecraft Film Festival will continue its annual screening of HPL-inspired films to Portland, OR in the spring of 2012.

     Now, go read a book & have a Beer.

     Cheers!

ESB to Awaken, Pumpkin Ale Brewday Forthcoming.

     So tomorrow will be the day my first Homebrew will be "officially drinkable" (you can guess, right, that I've already had a few of them along the way in the name of testing/monitoring progress?) I'm eager to share this thing with friends and family, hopefully no one will be too disappointed with the results! The "Old Druid", as I've dubbed it, wasn't just my first brew but my first attempt at an original recipe. Fairly ambitious, admittedly, for a novice- but what the hell, I'm having fun.

     I've gathered all the ingredients for my next challenge... a Pumpkin Ale. I researched a lot of pumpkin recipes for this and never found any satisfying results because the homebrewing resources online can get a little muddled when it comes to consistency and reliability of recipe styles. Once again I had to gather up as much relevant info as I could and proceed with making my best judgement... and now I will brew my first Spiced Holiday Beer according to my own recipe. (Mental Finger-Crossing Engaged.)

     The Pumpkin Ale Project (which I have dubbed "Grinning Jack") will make use of 4 different specialty grains (and they smell wonderful) on top of the light extract, 3 types of hops (including the homegrown, of course), Spiced Roasted Pumpkin, and Oregon Oak soaked in Spiced Rum(!). The Oak will go into the secondary fermentation stage along with cinnamon sticks to accompany the dry hopping. The hops have been selected not for bitterness and citrusy pungency, but to accommodate a more earthy, spicy balance and allow the spicy, pumpkiny goodness to (hopefully) shine through! (And the Rum and Oak!) I'm reasonably confident I can pull this off... with that small reserve of doubt I always keep in check as a reminder not to get too cocky!

     Ingredients-wise, this has been a spendy project... new Oak chips, the Rum, The Pumpkin and Spices, all the Grain and I almost forgot to get the necessary new steeping bags (ant those are not cheap, either!) I think it is all worth it. This is a hobby I have been wanting to participate in for a long time and the experience of creating a unique Holiday Ale is immensely enjoyable. I've been an avid Beer drinker since the days that a can of  Lucky Lager and Flav-O-Rite Cheese Flavored Snack Crackers constituted breakfast, but now I'm enjoying a whole new realm of great Beer and the thrill of creating my own! (That's got to be worth at least enough XP to get me close to leveling...)

     Cheers!